1. The world is 157 years old - FACT!

2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!

3. You are happy, you just don’t know it - FACT!

4. We all come from the same tree - FACT!

5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair - FACT!

6. Sperm does not exist - it is a lie spread by biology teachers - along with everything else you have ever been told - FACT!

7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day - FACT!

8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birth mark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm - FACT!

9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them - FACT!

10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure - FACT!

11. If you believe this and turn you hands and wallet over to EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise you are doomed - FACT!

12. KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

If you didn't know this, maybe you should read the Epsilon Tract.